Only-child Problems asks London A: Is Silence Really Golden?
Dear London A: I grew up an only child. It was just me, my mom and my dad, living happily in our quiet world. After college, I fell in love and married a man who lived a totally different life than me. He is from a family of eight; two parents and six kids. Now that all his siblings are adults, each of them have at least two kids. Our house seems to be the gathering spot; which makes for very crowded and loud visits several days a week. I love my husband’s family and adore our bond. My problem is that all the people and constant noise stresses me out. When I pull up to my house after work and see three or four cars already parked in my driveway, I dread going in my own house. Sometimes I want to come home to a quiet house, lie on my couch and relax. Am I being selfish? I did marry into this family willingly. How do I get my quiet time back? Sincerely, Only-child Problems
Dear Only-Child Problems: Don’t beat yourself up about wanting more quiet days than not. After all, it is YOUR house. Your first step is having a conversation with your husband. The two of you should be able to come up with a plan of action to satisfy his comfort for never-ending company and your comfort in the ‘silence is golden’ rule. Maybe try creating a space in your home with a door that closes that is only for you when your family is visiting. Explain to your family that you need to wind down from a long day and please excuse your absence. It is even ok for you and your husband to make an announcement, in a loving way, to your family that on certain days during the week your house will be closed to visitors. Because it is his family, it’s important that your husband is the driving voice in this matter. In my book, family is everything and I’m happy you all get along so well. However, family also has their own homes and there is nothing wrong with reminding them of that. Smooches!
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