Single Frustrated Female asks London A: When will my Prince Charming arrive to save me?
Dear London A: I don’t want my letter to come off as desperate so I am going to jump right to the point: I am single and I hate it! Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I am an educated, self-sufficient woman who, unfortunately, has a hard time finding a guy to date. When I do eventually go on a date, I quickly realize that he and I are not a match. The guys I have dated are more often than not too bossy or too passive; too arrogant or not cultured enough; too clingy or do not possess an ounce of chivalry. I’m starting to think there is something wrong with me! Yes, I have my standards on how I should be dated; but doesn’t everyone? All I want is someone who is compatible with me, self-sufficient, and knows how to treat a lady. Am I asking for too much? Sincerely – Single Frustrated Female
Dear Single: Keeping with your tone of jumping right to the point; yes, there is something wrong with you. In the many bad dates you have gone on, there has been one constant denominator; that constant denominator is you! I suggest you start with some self-evaluation and figure out why you attract the kind of men that have crossed your path. More importantly, I have to ask if you measure up to the standards you have in place for the perfect guy you want to date you? As an educated, self-sufficient woman you need to be real with yourself; you have to determine if the person you portray to the universe is the same person you are at home, alone, where there is no one to impress. Is the real you going on these dates or is it a representative disguised as you whose dinner conversation resembles a corporate interview? Too many times women mentally draw up their expectations of their perfect man and then strike the guy out for not meeting each checkpoint. Dating is learning about the other party involved; understanding that the person you are learning about has a story of their own, standards of their own, and a personality of their own. Now, let me be clear, I am not saying there are not some bossy, arrogant, clingy men in this world, because don’t I know they are lurking and multiplying like bunnies in heat! However, I do know that as women we attract the kind of men that matches the person we portray; which makes self-evaluation so important. For example, if you have met most of your dates while socializing, through friends, or on-line dating/networks, then evaluate those areas of your life. Does your night-life social scene consist of the men that match your type? Do your friends know you well enough to actually hook you up with the man of your dream? Does your on-line images coincide with the real you and not your photo-shopped representative? Once you’ve asked yourself some hard questions and then give yourself real unedited answers, I believe the desire to change some old bad habits will be inevitable. Once you’ve change those old habits, start aligning yourself with positive experiences and new adventures. Just remain cute while discovering your new world, because you never know when you are going to run into the perfect man for you.
Fall in love with yourself and others will follow… Smooches!
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